Lots and lots on my mind...

It's been a long couple weeks... A long couple months even, our life has kind of been turned upside down ever since we moved into the cottage. I feel like I'm just floating around without stability and without a sense of order.

I really like being care free and not having every single minute planned but I also crave having a schedule and doing my own thing. 

We moved to a little cottage in Hyrum in December, I love it, it's cute and cozy. And ever since, Brett has been working crazy hours with his dad and when he's not working crazy hours he's been gone on preseasons. 

Have I mentioned anywhere that we are installing security systems this summer with Vivint in Oklahoma? We're trying the whole summer job thing again this year and it's pretty exciting! Brett wants to go to school, we're thinking Dixie, so installing in the summer seems like the perfect fit for us right now. 

Anyways, when Brett is gone, I end up staying at my mom's house. Which is heaven on earth for my siblings and Mamae because who doesn't love to love on Deacon, especially in the morning? 

It's been fun and I'm so happy my family is living in Logan right now! I don't know what I would do if they weren't here while Brett has been gone so much lately! 

Yet at the same time, I've longed for my own schedule, my own rules, my own house, my own things. Don't get me wrong, I love sleepovers. I love waking up and hanging out with my mom it working out with my siblings but today more than ever, I crave my life. 

The life where my husband is home and I get to make him dinner, or we cuddle up and watch a movie and I fall asleep half way or our crazy Walmart runs at 10:30 pm. 

Honestly, it's been hard having Brett so far away. We've never gone longer than 4 days... Other than his 2 year mission, but that seems like a lifetime ago, and we weren't married, it's different. 

As crazy and chaotic as my life feels right now, tonight as I watch Deacon sleeping so soundly, good things keep flooding my mind. So here's my list...

- Watching Deacon interact with his aunts and uncles on both sides 

- Going on walks

- being able to cook for my family, I love making meals for people, it makes me happy 

- working out with my siblings

- eating clean with my mom and sister

- seeing Deacon recognize Brett on FaceTime, the little smile on his face was the cutest thing

- long talks on the phone with Brett every night 

- lots of snap chats so Daddy feels like he's here 

- hanging out with my in laws, have I mentioned how much I love my two sisters in law? Brett's sisters are my favorite and a couple of my best friends. 

- spending time with my mom, lots of time with my mom.
- Deacon's new little tooth and other coming in
- Lunch dates with my brother
- Organizing things for the big move 

But most of all, feeling like in a weird, crazy way, my heart is changing, I'm growing. I guess it's at times where we feel like we're not getting anywhere that we learn the most. My love and appreciation for Brett has grown, I've never missed him so bad in my life, but I'm so proud of him for working so hard and for loving me so hard from so far away! I sure lucked out :) He's the perfect man for me.
Here are some of my favorite pictures of the past month or so...

Loving oranges! 

Not so much bananas

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