Mountains to Climb

Let's just say that the last 5 weeks have been hard. Heartbreakingly, too many emotions, hard. I've been working with a mentor and trying to finally release many emotions from the past, which has been amazing. Well, it's been amazing, frustrating, confusing, exciting and most of all, hard.

I think I've cried enough to fill buckets, and I've had some real, raw and some unpleasant emotions but I've also found so much strength inside of me to change and to grow. I've grown so much in the past 5 weeks, it's amazing to see the differences in my life. 

I'm so happy! 

I've been listening to Beautiful Heartbreak from Hilary Weeks. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xyX-I-um5Kk  

Go listen, it's amazing. It perfectly describes my feelings about change and heartbreak. 

I think I've learned more of what Heavenly Father has wanted me to learn these past 5 weeks. Sometimes, people make decisions that hurt us, sometimes we make mistakes, sometimes we don't strive to be a little bit better and sometimes we suffer because of this imperfect world we live in. I've learned that the hard mountains we have to climb are for our good.

 They help us grow. 

It's through them that we truly change, with sweat and tears we climb those mountains- whether they're big or small- and once at the top, we find renewed understanding. We find peace, we find comfort, we find true joy. We then realize The Lord is at the top of the mountain and He can see our struggling and fears as we climb up the mountain. 

We realize that He can't go down the mountain and do it for us because we have so many things to discover on our journey to Him. 

So He sends angels, He sends friends to lift you up- to walk a couple steps with you. 

He sends mentors to help you with the really hard switch backs, he sends a companion (my Brett in my case) to lift you and carry you and be a shoulder to cry on, he sends sweet friends and neighbors to say just the words you need to hear. 

He sends friends who are going through their own trials, to lift you and bring you flowers. 

He inspires family to reach out and tell you just the words you need to hear. 

He inspires a priesthood leader to say a prayer that is perfectly designed for you. 

Then when you finally reach the top, and take His hand, you realize just how much He was by your side. Just how much He loves you and wants what's best for you. 

Those moments where you felt scared and overwhelmed, He gave you peace and comfort. The moments when you just needed someone to listen to everything, He listened. The moments when you didn't think you could handle one more thing, He sent extra love and care through your family. 

You see, He is always there. He's reaching out to you, just like he's been reaching out to me, every day in many different ways. 

The more I seek Him, the more I find Him. The more I pray, the more my prayers are answered. 

I'm so, so grateful for my mountains to climb, as hard, lonely, and overwhelming as it might have felt, I now know even better... That I do have a Savior, who performed an atonement for me, that covers all my weaknesses, all my burdens, all my pain. It's not just for those who sin, it's for all of us. The atonement can be used everyday! How grateful I am for this renewed knowledge❤️ 

I'm so grateful, The Lord gives me mountains to climb. However hard and unwanted they might seem, I'm grateful because it's how we truly grow. We taste the bitter, so we can know the sweet! 

And oh how sweet it is to truly feel an abundance of joy as we remember The Lord in all things. ❤️❤️