Trust

         The past few months have been full of trials, sometimes I feel as if i'm being punished for something I didn't do. I feel as if I have to try so hard just to be on the right track. What happened to the time when everything was fun and games? Or the time when you felt at peace with everything in your life? 

        Last night we had a class about temples and keeping your covenants.(yes, i'm in a preparing for eternal marriage class) As our institute teacher taught about being one with your spouse, but most importantly being one with God...I felt very negative and started to doubt. 

I got millions of questions in my head that my mind demanded answers to. Things we don't know yet and things that boggles our minds. I got angry with the fact that no matter who I asked, they wouldn't know the answer. I had the attitude of, who says this church is true if we don't know everything then? 

I know i'm not the only one who catches herself doing this. It was so intense I wanted to cry, and that's when I heard the Spirit confirm to me that this is the true church. This is the work of God. We are His children. I felt as if the Spirit was telling me, you've always known this. You believe in it and you know God loves you. I felt ashamed to think such thoughts, ashamed to question. 

        I think sometimes we all forget that Satan is working so hard to get to us. He wants us to doubt and feel lost and confused. He wants us to struggle and feel like there is no hope. I forgot that he is very aware of what I can become. 

 " 'All intelligent beings who are crowned with crowns of glory, immortality, and eternal lives must pass through every ordeal appointed for intelligent beings to pass through, to gain their glory and exaltation. Every calamity that can come upon mortal beings will be suffered to come upon the few, to prepare them to enjoy the presence of the Lord. . . . Every trial and experience you have passed through is necessary for your salvation' (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A Widtsoe [1954], 345).

       I know that we are all tried and tested in our lives. It will never stop. I know that Satan tempts and tries everyone, but it can become less of a burden if we follow Jesus Christ. I know we are meant to be like Him, that's why we've been given this life. We are meant to prove our faith to Him. That's why we go through trials. They shape our lives. It is only through Jesus Christ that we find peace and eternal happiness. 

"In the most difficult circumstances of life, there is often only one source of peace. The Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ, extends His grace with the invitation, 'Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest' (Matthew 11:28)."

      There is much that is required of us, but we already made the choice to do them. Knowing that we made that choice long before our time here on earth makes it easier to make that choice to follow Him. Knowing that we made that choice when we knew we'd be tried and tempted makes it easier to choose to follow the Lord everyday. We have to make the choice every single moment of our lives. When we forget to make that choice we step away from Christ. 

"If one day you find yourself farther from God than you were the day before, you can be sure who has moved, because the Lord is always constant" The Lord will never move away from us. we can either choose to walk away from Him or walk closer to Him and be one with Him. That's the choice we make everyday. Once we've made that choice everything else becomes easier.

“All you have to do is trust your Heavenly Father. Trust Him enough to follow His plan.” -Dieter F. Uchtdorf 
  http://www.lds.org/media-library/video/general-conference-october-2010?lang=eng&query=trust+lord#2010-10-2070-elder-neil-l-andersen